Funny / Crazy things kids say


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Kids really do say the most funny and brutal things sometimes so thought this could be quite an interesting and mind boggling thread. Thoughts?


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Love it already, our Nan, great choice of thread 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👏👏👏

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Our 8 yr old daughter is quite sarcastic (fruit and tree), with an absolute wickedly quick wit. The other day in the car she wqas asking about having children and did I regret it when they are being really naughty (cue best poker face).

When I said that it can be really hard sometimes and all parents question if they are doing things right and sometimes I don’t feel I’m doing a good job, her reply? “Mum, you do a great job as a parent because you’re always making me cry!” NOt a lot you can say to that really!

 

 

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Love it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hahaha @NannyOgg, oh dear! Love this thread idea :smile:

My sister recently bought herself a small drinks/wine fridge (ready for summer!) and apparently now my nephew (who’s almost 4) is now spending his days going round pre-school talking about their wine fridge and asking all the other kids if they have one… oops! :face_palm:

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍🍷🍷🍷🍾🤪

My nephew recently told me that he hasn’t got time for girls, because they’re too much drama! He isn’t even 5 yet!:joy:

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Hee hee, even a five year old saying “too much drama” is funny, let alone about girls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👏👏👏👏👏👏

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Your nephew sounds like a blast @Mads 

My Mum told me that years ago one of her Aunts was on the bus with her little girl and all the work guys were on. One of the gents said to her cousing ‘that’s a pretty dress, is it new?’ to which she promptly replied “yes and me mam’s got her new knickers on aswell!”

Apparently they got off at the next stop, 3 stops early :joy::rofl:

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Priceless 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏

The best thing is tho, they’re said in total innocence, which makes them all the more funny and all the more adorable. Guess that’s why we remember them forever 💕👍

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So, when we were little, huge house party at my Nan and grandads house for their anniversary. Nan, grandad, 3 aunties, 3 uncles, 8 cousins, etc. Fab party. I was about 9 so I know that’d have made this one cousin 5. 

Nan walked in from the kitchen, carrying tray of drinks. She put the tray down, and opened a bottle of tonic water, adding it to the glasses of gin. 

Little cousin walked over to her, saying “please can I have some of that pop, Nan?”

”No darling, this is for the shorts”

”I’m wearing shorts!”

To this day, I still picture him saying it and pointing to his little beige shorts he was wearing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍💕

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That’s brilliant. :rofl:

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My wife was renewing her driving license yesterday and made sure she was opted in for organ donation. She said “if anything happens to me, they can have what they like”

 

9-year old daughter, usually very loving and caring and full of empathy immediately pipes up “I’ll have mummies phone, laptop, car and I’ll take the dogs too”

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣LOVE that Jowl 👍👍👍👍👍👍

Many years ago my young son, a very young toddler had climbed into our bed with his mum. It was near to Christmas. There he sat and watched me get dressed. In serious voice he asked “Will I get hair on my penis?” “Yes,” was the reply, “One day.” 
 

“Can I have some for Christmas?” Was his retort.

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I just had a sneaky feeling your little anecdote was going to involve what it did, our Rich! I wasn’t wrong! So funny tho 😳🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Many years ago my young son, a very young toddler had climbed into our bed with his mum. It was near to Christmas. There he sat and watched me get dressed. In serious voice he asked “Will I get hair on my penis?” “Yes,” was the reply, “One day.” 
 

“Can I have some for Christmas?” Was his retort.

🤣

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My wife was renewing her driving license yesterday and made sure she was opted in for organ donation. She said “if anything happens to me, they can have what they like”

 

9-year old daughter, usually very loving and caring and full of empathy immediately pipes up “I’ll have mummies phone, laptop, car and I’ll take the dogs too”

🤣

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So, when we were little, huge house party at my Nan and grandads house for their anniversary. Nan, grandad, 3 aunties, 3 uncles, 8 cousins, etc. Fab party. I was about 9 so I know that’d have made this one cousin 5. 

Nan walked in from the kitchen, carrying tray of drinks. She put the tray down, and opened a bottle of tonic water, adding it to the glasses of gin. 

Little cousin walked over to her, saying “please can I have some of that pop, Nan?”

”No darling, this is for the shorts”

”I’m wearing shorts!”

To this day, I still picture him saying it and pointing to his little beige shorts he was wearing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍💕

🤣

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These are hilarious, really making me laugh so loudly.

 

Hubby was still on leave a couple of weeks ago. 8 year old daughter was in the bathroom and I was waiting in our room to read to her while hubby was sat downstairs with 10 year old son. Out of nowhere, daughter shouts out “Mummy, how big is Daddy’s thing!” A deathly silence decended upon the Owen household. “Pardon!?”, came my shocked reply. she then appears round the doorway holding an ratyher large implement in her hand “Dad’s toothbrush … it’s huge.”

All I could hear from downstairs was a lot of sniggering and snorting. All I could do was exhale feeling very relieved.

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I only got halfway down para 1, Nan, and couldn’t see for LOL at the “Mummy, how big…….”

Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Great thread @NannyOgg - I once overheard a young boy ask his mum... “what would happen if you gave a blind person a hallucinogenic?” (unfortunately I wasn’t able to stick around to hear her response :joy:)

 

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Oh @myauntie,

How hilarious and quite a philosophical question.  :rofl:

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This thread is absolute gold!  Well done all

I suspect some of you may have seen this small child with a great vocabulary. You need sound on.

https://imgur.com/gallery/VKi4oFG

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One of the funniest things I ever read was in one of my mum’s old Reader’s DIgest many years ago. A woman was queueing in the bank and her young daughter was acting up and being generally naughty.

The Mum said that if she didn’t behave she would be telling grandma when they got to her house that she had been naughty. Without batting an eye the little girl proclaimed “and I’ll tell Grandma that you were kissing Daddy’s pee pee last night!”

Apparently she didn’t wait to get served in the bank!!

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