Funniest jokes at Edinburgh Fringe


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Something to cheer us up on a Monday morning!

These are the funniest jokes at this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

Every year views of channel Dave vote to choose their favourite jokes told on stage by stand-up comedians at the festival.

The joke voted the funniest was won by Liverpudlian Adam Rowe.

"Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day."

All the jokes voted the best:


- "I had a job drilling holes for water - it was well boring" - Leo Kearse

- "I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed" - Olaf Falafel

- "In my last relationship, I hated being treated like a piece of meat. She was a vegan and refused to touch me" - Daniel Audritt

- "What do colour blind people do when they are told to eat their greens?" - Flo and Joan

- "I've got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts" - Darren Walsh

- "Trump said he'd build a wall but he hasn't even picked up a brick. He's just another middle-aged man failing on a DIY project" - Justin Moorhouse

- "I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it" - Adele Cliff

- "Why are they calling it Brexit and not The Great British Break Off?" - Alex Edelman

- "I think love is like central heating. You turn it on before guests arrive and pretend it's like this all the time" - Laura Lexx



Think you can do better? Go on, tell us a joke in the replies!

21 replies

Saw a baguette at the zoo. It was bread in captivity.
Love it @Brownie! :D:p


Brownie;10503:
Saw a baguette at the zoo. It was bread in captivity.
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My friend refused to have a stairlift fitted, he said it would just drive him up the wall.
Pun-tastic! :o
woz;10544:
My friend refused to have a stairlift fitted, he said it would just drive him up the wall.
I didn't get the job in the fish filleting factory... I was gutted
Excellent @Mark boy ;)
Nice pun! Got any more?
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I can't stand Russian Dolls; they're so full of themselves.
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Why are Christmas trees πŸŽ„πŸŽ„πŸŽ„so bad at sewing?πŸ€”


They always drop their needles!πŸ€ͺπŸ™ƒπŸ€£πŸ˜†
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Why was the snowmanβ˜ƒοΈ rummaging in a bag full of πŸ₯•πŸ₯•πŸ₯•πŸ₯•πŸ₯•πŸ₯•?
He was picking his πŸ‘ƒ!

πŸ€ͺπŸ˜›πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ˜€πŸ˜‚πŸ˜„
Oh @Bev
That is.....



:D
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Indeed, bit of a groaner wasn’t it! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

How about this........

Father Christmas πŸŽ… went to see his GP.


DoctorπŸ‘¨*βš•οΈ: What seems to be the problem, Santa?
Santa πŸŽ…: I seem to have got a mince pie stuck up my bumπŸ‘…πŸ₯§!
Doctor πŸ‘¨*βš•οΈ: Well you’re in luck πŸ€, because I've got just the cream for that!


πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚better???
Excellent! @Bev
This is turning into a thread about the best (worst?) Christmas cracker jokes.
What does Father Christmas have three gardens?


So he can ho, ho, ho! 😃
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Ok, so these are from my festive cheese πŸ§€πŸ§€πŸ§€πŸ§€advent calendar..........

Would cheese πŸ§€πŸ§€πŸ§€grow on a tree πŸŽ„?
No, but an APPLEWOOD! πŸ™„πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

OK, Try this one...........

Did you hear about the cheesy comedian?
He had some crackers! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

OK, last one.......

Shall I tell you the clever cheese joke?
Nah, it’ll go WHEY over your heads πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

BOOM BOOM that’s ya lot! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜πŸ˜‚
What did Father Christmas do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker.


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

(sorry, not sorry)
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Actually laughed out loud at that first one Marc πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘
Here's the 2019 edition:

This year's funniest joke from the Edinburgh Fringe is: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets", from comedian Olaf Falafel. (personally I think his name is funnier than his joke ;)))


Here are the best of rest, according to a BBC report:


"Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
"Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
"I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
"To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
"I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham

Which is your fav?
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Marc;35754:
Here's the 2019 edition:

This year's funniest joke from the Edinburgh Fringe is: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets", from comedian Olaf Falafel. (personally I think his name is funnier than his joke ;)))


Here are the best of rest, according to a BBC report:


"Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy" - Richard Stott
"What's driving Brexit? From here it looks like it's probably the Duke of Edinburgh" - Milton Jones
"A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, 'Yes, of course. - That's 20 cows'" - Jake Lambert
"A thesaurus is great. There's no other word for it" - Ross Smith
"Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It's the reason I get up in the morning" - Ross Smith
"I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; I'm really struggling to get out of it" - Adele Cliff
"After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging - Richard Pulsford
"To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian" - Mark Simmons
"I've got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad's contacts" - Ivo Graham

Which is your fav?


Thanks for sharing, I think it would have to be the last one

Stephen
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If that was the best offerings, I would hate to see the rest, the only one mildly amusing was the Eton theme calendar
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I laughed at most of them, I need help...
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I liked most, but Eton was the winner for me πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
What about...

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "five beers, please";)

I broke my finger last week. But on the other hand, I'm OK.


you know what they say about cliffhangers...

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